I watched Countdown, starring WWE’s Dolph Ziggler and Kane. The real star is none of these guys.
Before I continue, here’s the quick blurb on the movie according to when I just searched on my Google Now tab. Ahem….
“A madman captures a young boy and rigs him with explosives. Ray Fitzpatrick (Dolph Ziggler), still haunted by the loss of his own son, will defy orders to stop the clock and save a life.”
Ziggler is no Rock. And he’s no Piper. Thankfully, he’s no Hogan. This is 1 of the more unremarkable movies I’ve seen recently. I can’t call it good or bad. I have to imagine WWE Films is barely above water, which explains the longest scene of this movie. Suspended cop Ziggler is reinstated by his Lieutenant, Kane, (yep) to help the force track down the villain coincidentally at a WWE show. I roughly counted 5 minutes of film dedicated to showing wrestler entrances. This happens relatively early in the movie so the hunt continues on in over the top fashion.
Look, I watched it cause I had to do a long trip into Jersey. I don’t expect you would either. So I’m going to give you 2 spoiler-ish reasons to watch this.
Yes. That is WWE star Rusev. Yes he has Dolph at gunpoint. There’s too much to explain why this happens but what results is the greatest defense mechanism once ever seen to thwart a gunman. That’s reason 1 to watch this. Reason 2 is when Lieutenant Kane shoots Dolph in the penis. Believe it or not, that’s the vague description.
You have to take off your over analytical hat when watching this. The 3 stars of the movie are 2 former WWE Champs and a scream queen. Those are your leads and reasons why this went straight to video (and Digital HD). I would say this: if this was a storyline on the wrestling show, this would be great. Silly PG.
I gotta get back to listening to more music, cause that was the original intent of this blog. But between cinematic masterpieces like this, and the new season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, my eyes have taken over from my ears. Needless to say, on a scale of Kerwin White to DX in blackface, Countdown is a 4 out of 10. I’m gonna shower this sadness off